29 October, 2002

An Intellectual Conversation

I received an interesting IM today from a person that I had not spoken to in quite a long while. He is one of my few truly intellectual friends, and the conversation that ensued was quite stimulating. I am recording parts of that conversation here, in my journal, so that in coming times I can look back on this journal and read this all over again.

Hemorex: Hello.
Hemorex: (c:
Eric J Herboso: Good evening.
Eric J Herboso: Interesting emoticon you have there.
Hemorex: Yes. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, and I have become needlessly sycophantic in my 'old age'
Eric J Herboso: Would you believe I actually had to look up 'sycophantic'? As though I couldn't figure it out from context...
Eric J Herboso: You are Emp, I presume?
Hemorex: *chuckle* If I can still challenge you, then life still has meaning... who else?
Hemorex: What was your tip-off? (c;
Eric J Herboso: 'Sycophantic'. I don't know any other smart people, you know.
Eric J Herboso: I am surprised that you still keep me on your AIM list, though.
Hemorex: Oh, but there are so many ... smat? people out there.
Hemorex: Much like my manhood, my instant messenger list is undersized, and anything that gets on it stays on it for as long as possible.[...]
Hemorex: So... how do you keep yourself amused these days?
Eric J Herboso: Very carefully.
Eric J Herboso: Mostly, I just think.
Eric J Herboso: I made a website.
Eric J Herboso: It will be in PHP within a couple of months; for now, it's just in HTML.
Eric J Herboso: I keep an online diary. (Yeah, I know it's weird, but it feels good to write to the public sometimes.)
Hemorex: Tres amusant. I barely do any coding anymore, and here you are, getting into PHP. I have lagged behind so much...
Eric J Herboso: Perhaps, but with your mind it would be simple to catch back up in any field you might so deem as worthy.
Eric J Herboso: I'm majoring in Mathematics at Spring Hill College. I plan on switching over to physics in grad school, just as I had always planned, but for now it is just mathematics, mostly because it's just fun.
Eric J Herboso: That was a horribly mangled sentence.
Eric J Herboso: Oh, well.
Hemorex: *laugh* In all truth, you know, you're still the only person who I can talk to. At all.
Eric J Herboso: Am I truly? I must admit to some surprise...
Eric J Herboso: ... I wasn't exactly the ideal friend, even in the best of times, now was I?
Hemorex: I was so turned off of science, mathematics, and every study produced by Western society by college. Never before had things so interesting before turned so boring to me.
Hemorex: No. Never. Does it matter?
Hemorex: Ideals don't exist in actuality.
Eric J Herboso: 'Tis an interesting observation....
Eric J Herboso: I'd considered it before, of course; but to apply such to whom I would call friends?
Hemorex: Why not?
Eric J Herboso: I have no logical argument against your reasoning... Rather it is just a feeling that an 'unideal' friend would not be considered "the only person who I can talk to."
Eric J Herboso: Why did college turn you off so very much?
Hemorex: Dropping the philosophical veneer for just a moment: Anyone else to whom I so much as uttered the word "sycophantic" would have given me a look as though I had grown horns, breathed fire, and was without pants.
Hemorex: It's really difficult to say, now. It was so long ago. I could throw a hundred excuses and theories out, but all of them would be meaningless.[...]
Hemorex: I'm reading the excerpts from your journal, however. Scathing indictments of the thoughtless masses, est-ce que?
Eric J Herboso: I guess I had thought that by going to college I might encounter actual intelligence... Boy was I wrong.
Hemorex: How low it is, to feel as the lone thinking creature in a swarm of insects; and how great the rush, to feel the violent superiority of the wolf in the pack of sheep.
Hemorex: *Laughs* I had the same delusion.
Eric J Herboso: I write what I feel in my journal, and I make absolute sure that I never lie there. It has become a haven for me; a place where I can type to my heart's content without concern for anything at all.
Eric J Herboso: I actually like college, you know. At least compared to how I lived before I went back to school.
Hemorex: I will respectfully avoid asking for detail.
Hemorex: What so fascinates about college now?
Eric J Herboso: I suppose it is because I am not as smart as you.
Eric J Herboso: I find myself actually challenged in a few of my classes.
Eric J Herboso: The people aren't highly intelligent, but I am learning stuff. A lot of my courses are extraneous, but in some classes, I actually have to think.
Hemorex: Self-depreciation, with that ever-looming threat of sarcasm, has no place now. But I am curious, what would challenge such as you?
Eric J Herboso: Mathematics. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm actually learning new things there.
Eric J Herboso: And Chemistry as well. Chemistry is not as hard, but it's not what I would call easy. I actually have to study out of class in order to get good scores on my tests.
Eric J Herboso: And although Literature is easy, my class is forcing me to read books that I've never read before, and it truly is expanding my knowledge.
Hemorex: So, by thus being challenged, and overcoming these challenges, what end have you acheived?
Eric J Herboso: I get to think.
Eric J Herboso: I was so very tired of not thinking.
Eric J Herboso: "Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed." -- Robert Ingersoll
Eric J Herboso: I am but a pebble, Peter. I say this not because I wish to degrade my own knowledge, but because compared to the biographies I've read, I am nothing.
Hemorex: That's an extraordinary thought, yet I found college to be little more than a place where bits of paper flew about in exchange. Sometimes, to analyze the most basic generalities can be so frightening; intricate complexities are so comforting in their way.
Hemorex: Pebbles shatter glass as surely as any diamond when thrown with enough force. Biographies are written to flatter, and add sheen where there is none.
Hemorex: Were I to write an autobiography, I would be the grandest hero; slaying the demons of civilization while tormented only by the suffering of others. I would not eat,sleep, shit, or masturbate.
Eric J Herboso: But the average physicist puts out his best work when he is 24 years old! I am 21, and yet I know only the basics of quantum theory. Physics is what I am most interested in, but I am no genius. I have nothing extraordinary to add to the world of physics.
Hemorex: That is how we want to be remembered, as an ideal.
Hemorex: Neither does the "average" physicist.
Hemorex: Hence, they are called "average."
Hemorex: Now, there is so much to known; one has a long way to crawl to the giants' shoulders.
Hemorex: Scratch "to" in the previous sentence. My grammar has deteriorated through the years.
Eric J Herboso: And what of you? Have you any long term goal at all, or do you just plan upon contentment in the near future and leave it at that?
Eric J Herboso: "Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hemorex: Define long-term. I would, of course, love to force people to think, but they do not wish to do this; leave the world better than I left it, but who is to decide what is better? So many things. And yet the end result is the same; eventually my existence will be meaningless, nothing more than a canceled-out variable in a overlarge equation. And I ask, "Why should I care?"
Hemorex: Sometimes I feel like there is so much to know, that no one could ever know it all. It is just a hopeless ideal. And then, it occurs; maybe there is very little to know, but perhaps people do not wish to know that little amount, so they create ideas and thoughts of neverending complexity to occupy theirselves.
Hemorex: Hallucinate, and know fear; reality, as we know it, is nothing more than electrical signals buzzing at lightspeed through a piece of meat. Solipsism, with a hint of nihilism? Absolutely, and intellectually reprehensible.
Hemorex: So where does this leave me? I can philosophize about a meaningless existence, build the definitions of a civilization that will one day crumble, work to build myself up, and crumble all the same. This makes an overreaching goal difficult.
Hemorex: And all the same, I must pause and notice: I am still the same. I still cannot give a simple, direct answer to a simply and directly stated question.
Hemorex: And I laugh at myself.
Hemorex: So, what do you think? Have I gone mad? Had my mind numbed into stupidity?
Hemorex: Has, not had... *grr*
Eric J Herboso: Mad? Hmm...
Eric J Herboso: I would not say mad, though others might disagree.
Eric J Herboso: I would say that you see the problem that no one else ever notices.
Eric J Herboso: Your thoughts are valid, of course. I see no flaw in your statements.
Eric J Herboso: Yet...
Eric J Herboso: If we are to interpret life solely as you have put it, then there is no point to anything at all.
Eric J Herboso: Look at it this way: either you're right or you're wrong. If you're right, then there really is no point to anything and we are all just "electrical signals buzzing at lightspeed through a piece of meat." But if you're wrong, then you will have wasted life for an incorrect assumption.
Hemorex: People have said as much before. When you look at just about any person's pattern of behavior, there is the strong suggestion that they feel that way regardless of anything else...
Hemorex: One simply has to go on what evidence they have. I would be happy to be proven wrong.
Eric J Herboso: Unfortunately, I would bet that such a proof does not exist.
Hemorex: You know, my cat was just sitting in my lap, a minute ago. And I wonder; does he think of things like this, in his animal fashion? Being unbound by language and rules, as we are, is everything simple to him? And he purred, and I enjoyed his company. Was there a greater purpose to this? Of course not. In a few years, he will be a rotting corpse, bringing life to plants. One day, I looked at him and I saw this. I understood the circle of his life all in an instant. And, for that moment, it depressed me. But it does not trouble me now. I do not know why.
Hemorex: I feel that the boundaries our ancient ancestors imposed on us; the strictures of thought caged by reason, are what limit us, as far as they may take us.
Hemorex: A cage travelling at the speed of light. But still a cage.
Eric J Herboso: But...
Eric J Herboso: There is nothing better than this cage.
Eric J Herboso: There is no alternative that even comes close to working this well.
Eric J Herboso: And you accept insignifigance... You accept it so lightly, so easily.
Eric J Herboso: It is as though you have spent years acclimating yourself to a life of insignifigance.
Eric J Herboso: I am tempted to say that it is disturbing, but I would be lying if I said that. I don't wish to lie.
Eric J Herboso: Peter...
Eric J Herboso: Although there is no proof that there is something more, wouldn't you say that to not at least try to believe in something more is harmful?
Eric J Herboso: I suppose you might counter by asking what is harmful, but I know you know what I mean here.
Hemorex: Acribing the existence of the universe to an anthropomorphized intelligence is dangerous, and intellectually bankrupt.
Hemorex: But that is not so much your question.
Eric J Herboso: What of boredom? Is boredom simply a collection of electrons, or is it something more?
Eric J Herboso: When you say you are bored, what is it that you are saying?
Hemorex: Eric, due to an... interesting turn of events, I have come to learn something of the old religions. And I looked into them, and I learned of demonology, and of cosmologies and mythologies so old that people laugh when they hear them now.
Eric J Herboso: Explain.
Hemorex: And then I played connect-the-dots.
Eric J Herboso: And?
Hemorex: I found confirmation that the same gods have been worshipped for thousands of years under different names.
Hemorex: And then, I broke it down.
Hemorex: For most people forget, that an essential part of analysis is studying the basics as much as the details.
Hemorex: People worship nothing, and they worship energy; they worship that which gives it form, and we call matter. They worship that which animates it and causes life. The worship the way life and the inanimate come together, love, war, friendship, hate, the attraction and repulsion of subatomic particles.
Hemorex: I remember, when I was young, I had a lunchbox; upon the lunchbox, was the image of the lunchbox itself, and, in turn, that microcosmic representation had another representation of itself, ad infinitum. And now, it seems like that is the only acceptable metaphor of existence, wherein a great drama is played out, and it is played in microcosm within itself.
Hemorex: The gods taught me that they were closer to concepts and thoughts than they are to you and me.
Eric J Herboso: And it is unnacceptable to worship such concepts and thoughts a la Pythagoreus et al?
Hemorex: No. Nothing is unacceptable, because, in its way, everything is necessary.
Eric J Herboso: ? Please explain.
Hemorex: At the subatomic level, existence is the result of opposition between forces.
Hemorex: For worshipping of a scientific theorem -- outright and openly, to build an altar to it...
Hemorex: Would create a conflict, and thus existence.
Hemorex: (On an unrelated note, I am strongly considering the purchase of a strongly caffeinated beverage. I am either getting more brilliant or incomprehensible.)
Eric J Herboso: ... Umm....
Eric J Herboso: So to consider an opposition between forces to be divine would create conflict?
Hemorex: I know it's a bizarre line of thought, but can you think of anything "signficant" in any way that is not one side of a conflict -- no matter how minor?
Eric J Herboso: No, ... No, I suppose not.
Hemorex: Does this point to an old man in the sky the watches you go to the bathroom? No.
Eric J Herboso: Forget religion, then.
Eric J Herboso: What of love?
Hemorex: Love is a series of conflicts.
Hemorex: Or ... chemical reactions.
Hemorex: Love is not significant. Nothing good really comes of love.... anything really beneficial seems to come from some kind of suffering.
Hemorex: An absolute? I cannot say. But if it were never cold, who would have thought to invent a heater?
Eric J Herboso: But surely there must be some absolute.
Eric J Herboso: If nothing else, then what of logic itself?
Eric J Herboso: Or, to be even more basic, what of mathematics?
Eric J Herboso: Surely, mathematics is 'something more'. Surely, if nothing else, then mathematics at least is pure and absolute.
Hemorex: I'm going out on a limb here, but my opinion is that a paradigm, e.g. logic, mathematics, and christianity, have no significance except in the "power" inherent in their existence.
Eric J Herboso: P... You can't be serious.
Hemorex: Christians will hallucinate if their faith is strong enough. The average person will find ghosts and bugbears if they fear enough. The scientist will discover laws if he is insightful and intelligent enough.
Eric J Herboso: ... You say this, and I cringe...
Eric J Herboso: Yet, what argument have I against it?
Hemorex: I decided a long time ago that a sacred cow is a sacred cow, even if it is a sacred cow of rationalism.
Eric J Herboso: ...
Hemorex: You know that I am not a vegetarian.
Eric J Herboso: But nature herself follows mathematical rules regardless of whether or not we discover them.
Eric J Herboso: Even before man understood the concept of mathematics, speed was equal to distance per time traveled.
Eric J Herboso: Doesn't this make s=d/t an absolute?
Hemorex: Truly? But we cannot know this unless this has been observed, and the scientist cannot observe this except through the lens of science.
Hemorex: Is the cat dead, or alive?
Hemorex: What, in the end, makes the determination of the indeterminate?
Eric J Herboso: But who is to say that this indeterminancy isn't there simply because it is just a flux of possible determinants? And if so, then doesn't the very existence of indeterminancy require multiple values that are specifically determinant?
Hemorex: First: Perhaps, but what if the range is infinite? Could the cat not turn into a dead dog, even though we do not consider it possible, due to some law we do not understand or know?
Hemorex: Second: The existence of the concept of indeterminacy requires its opposite, but why would one have to know something in order to not know something?
Eric J Herboso: First, who cares if the range is infinite? Is an infinite number of choices any less 'real' than a finite number of choices?
Hemorex: It's less tangible to a rational concept. Can infinity logically exist?
Hemorex: I'm sure I've seen proofs that it can and does, and cannot and does not.
Eric J Herboso: Why can't it?
Hemorex: If infinity exists, does everything exist? Will a monkey necesaarily type hamlet or eventually invent interstellar drive systems?
Eric J Herboso: Eventually, why not?
Eric J Herboso: Even chaotic graphs produce orderly fractals.
Hemorex: Even orderly thoughts produce chaotic actions.
Hemorex: Why? Are there blocks in the pieces of meat in our skulls?
Eric J Herboso: I do not claim to know how the brain works. But if a flower can come from nothing but three flavors of quarks and their antiparticles plus electrons, then anything is possible.
Hemorex: Bits of energy that have imperceptible wars; we find the end result to be a beautiful, if stationary object. But it's not; even from what we DO understand, it's existence is a raging battlefield. Battling the force of gravity to stand upright; battling diseases within itself ... et al. The nature of existence is not really "substance," it would seem, but something closer to "motion"
Hemorex: Perhaps "balance"
Eric J Herboso: True enough.
Eric J Herboso: But why can't you view that 'balance' as beautiful in and of itself?
Hemorex: It is. But it does not lend credence to absolutes.
Eric J Herboso: But is it not absolutely beautiful?
Hemorex: There is pain and suffering and ugliness in it as well.
Eric J Herboso: ::sigh:: I cannot argue against what I know to be true.
Eric J Herboso: But unlike you, I still yearn for something... Anything.
Hemorex: People talk of True Love, True Belief, True Beauty ... "True", and "Absolute", are words that are my Devils. They imply rejection of "Untrue" and "Partial". But I have never seen, touched, heard, or felt, "Absolute." I cannot find faith in it, and my instinct cannot find it.
Eric J Herboso: How can you live life in a world devoid of absolutes of any kind?
Hemorex: Why do you try to create absolutes where there are none?
Eric J Herboso: Because reality sucks. I refuse to admit belief in reality when I have an alternative option that is much more beautiful.
Eric J Herboso: I'm not saying I have blind belief. I am not retarded.
Hemorex: There is no need for absolutes, or even belief in such. The aspiration to the ideal is a good meaning, but not the only one.
Hemorex: Refusal to admit belief in reality, even when presented with a more attractive option, is not a logical solution unless necessary to retain one's sanity.
Eric J Herboso: But the allure of an absolute is too great... I'm not saying I disbelieve reality. I'm not saying I believe in fantasy.
Eric J Herboso: But to throw out the concept of absolutes completely?
Eric J Herboso: I don't mean to sound religious. I am not religious.
Eric J Herboso: But Peter... If this is all life is, then I want no part in it.
Hemorex: When you remove absolutes and limitations, all you have is possibility. This, I believe, is as godlike as anyone can be. What is wrong with that?
Eric J Herboso: What is wrong? What is wrong? Are you blind?
Eric J Herboso: Without absolutes, you are left with merely possibility.
Eric J Herboso: Possibility alone is nothing!
Hemorex: But it can be anything.
Hemorex: .. and everything.
Hemorex: Everything is open.
Eric J Herboso: But a statement that says anything and everything says nothing! Without specifics, of what use is any adjective at all?
Hemorex: As I recall, a common concept in japanese literature is thus; The two great warriors, great enemies, ride upon the hilltop to meet in final battle. And there the book ends.
Hemorex: For years, you will think, and ponder about this.
Hemorex: You will discuss it with others that read the same.
Hemorex: Imagination will unfold, and you will be inspired.
Hemorex: A closed story, as it were, will leave you with nothing. Everything has happened. There is no uncertainty, and nothing else can be but what is.
Hemorex: It lives its purpose and is gone.
Hemorex: This frightens me more.
Eric J Herboso: I'm sorry, but I refuse to accept this.
Eric J Herboso: The logic points your way over mine, but logic means nothing without its premises.
Eric J Herboso: There does exist a way in which I can be where I would be better than any other choice of ways in that I can exist.
Eric J Herboso: If not, then what is the point in striving?
Hemorex: What makes you so sure? Perhaps, there are many, n'est-ce pas?Eric J Herboso: Unnacceptable.
Hemorex: On what grounds?
Eric J Herboso: If there are at least two different shades of grey, then there must exist at least the possibility of both pure white and pure black.
Eric J Herboso: Thus, if a thing that I do is more favored than another, then there must exist a most favored way that is purely and absolutely correct.
Hemorex: But also, then, the possibility of colors outside that spectrum.
Hemorex: Favored by whom?
Eric J Herboso: Not by whom. Favored by reality.
Hemorex: Then you ascribe a consciousness to "reality
Hemorex: "?
Eric J Herboso: No... I merely am stating that the existence of reality means that a favorable position within that reality exists as well.
Hemorex: "favorable" is a concept that exists only within the mind of a living observer. It is unfavorable for me to contract a disease, but favorable for the virus that feeds on me. It is neither favorable nor unfavorable, except within our own minds, that our planet explodes and we all die.
Eric J Herboso: Fuck that. Life, as a whole, is favorable to no life. Struggling versus entropy is a heroic act.
Hemorex: Thermodynamics says entropy will win.
Eric J Herboso: Fuck thermodynamics.
Hemorex: Life likes to be there. Maybe rocks don't like it.
Eric J Herboso: "Maybe rocks don't like it"?
Hemorex: It's dumb, but it illustrates a point;
Hemorex: what we think is favorable, may not be favorable.
Hemorex: to something else.
Hemorex: Maybe the inanimate is "happy" not to have the animate around.
Eric J Herboso: ... Perhaps...
Hemorex: Of course, this assumes a kind of animism. Logically, animism could be best described as a "crock of shit." But from a religious or instinctual perspective, there is no problem with the thought.
Eric J Herboso: ::sigh:: ... Okay, I accede.
Eric J Herboso: You're right, of course.
Eric J Herboso: But it still pisses me off.
Eric J Herboso: I can't argue against what is correct and expect to win.
Hemorex: That's fine. But the justification for your viewpoint is feeling. Logic tells you that it's wrong, but every ounce of you that's not driving to destroy yourself tells you that, on some level you're still right.
Hemorex: If that's your justification, then what's wrong with it?
Eric J Herboso: But that's what makes it so horrible... If I am to be logical, then I have to be wholly logical. I cannot allow such whimsical 'feelings' to decide how I think about a subject, no matter what that subject may be.
Eric J Herboso: Either I accept logic or I deny it. There is no halfway. Either I accept all of logic, or I deny all of logic. To believe only part of logic is in itself illogical.
Hemorex: To use logic where it serves you, rather than at all times, even to your detriment, would seem more logical to me.
Eric J Herboso: How so? If I allow myself the luxury of discarding logic whenever I feel like it, then how do I decide when to feel like it?
Eric J Herboso: All or none, Emp. You cannot believe in addition without necessarily believing in multiplication.
Hemorex: Bifurcation is a fallacy I thought only the religious clung to.
Hemorex: You're going back to absolutes, there.
Eric J Herboso: Yes, I know.
Hemorex: I don't have conflicts like "all or none" when it comes to logic or any other paradigm; I accept what it useful to me, and trash what is not.
Hemorex: No one system can be right all the time.
Eric J Herboso: Einstein missed out on discovering that the universe is expanding because he decided to throw out the information that was logically handed to him.
Hemorex: How often do computers crash, or otherwise fuck things up? They're absolutely logical. They do only what they're told with no initiative, and as a result, without a competing viewpoint to provide additional input (e.g., a human operator), they are worthless.
Eric J Herboso: Computers crash because of programming errors.
Hemorex: Does Einstein care now?
Eric J Herboso: Mathematics is always right.
Eric J Herboso: Always.
Hemorex: Remember that 2 = 1, eric.
Eric J Herboso: Fuck 2=1.
Hemorex: 2 = 1.
Hemorex: You proved that, remember?
Hemorex: Broken down, you divided by zero. But you provided a situation for which logic could not compensate.
Eric J Herboso: Division by zero is unnaceptable.
Hemorex: Zero is a number. You divide by a number, you get a result.
Hemorex: Division ... it works for... Most numbers? But not all? Always?
Eric J Herboso: ...
Hemorex: Why the living fuck can't I divide by zero if I want to?
Hemorex: Because it doesn't work. Why doesn't it work?
Hemorex: Pure logic, without an instinctual drive to survive (illogical) or a religious sense of higher meaning (even more illogical) tells me that I really have no reason to be having this conversation, as the end result of the universe will most likely be the same regardless.
Eric J Herboso: Mathematics is absolute.
Eric J Herboso: Any number divided by zero returns the set of all complex numbers.
Hemorex: And thus proudly declares that 2 = 1.
Eric J Herboso: Only because both 1 and 2 are in the set of all complex numbers.
Hemorex: So all numbers are therefore equivalent?
Eric J Herboso: No.
Hemorex: Then how the fuck does 2 = 1?
Eric J Herboso: You cannot equate a set of one value with a set of infinite values.
Eric J Herboso: All that equation said was that in the set of all complex numbers, there exists the value 2 and the value 1.
Hemorex: The infinite values were equated with one another in the form of (supposedly) finite variables.
Hemorex: Any caveman could have told you that there is a One and a Two, possibly up to Five, or perhaps even Ten.
Hemorex: The equation itself was based on simple, finite variables.
Hemorex: Now, when someone says, "If God is all-powerful, can he create a rock so heavy that he cannot lift it," someone will most likely counter with a semi-plausible explanation of it, but it never really proves the existence of an omnipotent deity.
Hemorex: When someone breathes in volcanic vapors and spurts gibberish, another can try to say there is a meaning to it and say that the gibberish spurter is an Oracle. But that does not make the volcanic vapors magic or the gibberish spurter divine.
Hemorex: So I'm cynical. And I apply logic's own scrutiny and laws to itself. Or is logic above its own laws?
Hemorex: Is logic a tyrant, and a dictator?
Eric J Herboso: You're just plain mean to poor old logic.
Hemorex: Cruelty is the spice of life.
Hemorex: So? Any more thoughts?
Eric J Herboso: ...
Eric J Herboso: You use logic flawlessly.
Eric J Herboso: It is interesting to hear someone like you talk again.
Hemorex: But I'm a nut. (c:
Eric J Herboso: That you are. (c;
Hemorex: That is what a couple of bored years spent sitting, walking, and philosophizing will do to a man.
Hemorex: unrelated: I hope I'm not unnecessarily keeping you up if you have to be somewhere in the morning...
Eric J Herboso: I have class in the morning.
Eric J Herboso: At 8 am.
Hemorex: Ugh.
Hemorex: No other word utterance would do, simply: Ugh.
Eric J Herboso: Yes, I know.
Eric J Herboso: But I enjoy it, so it's all good.
Hemorex: *laugh* I can barely get myself up when I have to go to work at that time, for there is no reward for doing so, except to hear the adulation of the clamoring masses. And this is not wholly in sarcasm, for a part of the clamoring masses has incredibly interesting jiggling asses...
Eric J Herboso: When I envision Hertz, I see people sitting, not jiggling assess.
Hemorex: Ah, but sometimes the cute ones walk, and being in such a nerve-center of activity as I am, they frequently have to deal with me. And frequently they call. I've got my eye on one in particular. Would I ever consider spending the rest of my life with her? No. Would I ever love her? It depends on your definition. But it would be ... enjoyable.
Eric J Herboso: Interesting... You know, it may sound odd, but I don't think upon such things too often anymore...
Eric J Herboso: I mean, the thoughts are still there, of course, but it is a remarkable difference in quantity of thought as compared to how I was in the past.
Hemorex: Not odd at all. Generally speaking, ass is inconsquential. But sometimes, animal lusts take over. Why suppress them entirely? It's a denial of one's own nature to do so.
Eric J Herboso: Agreed. But it is not intentional.
Hemorex: Not an accusation per se, but an observation.
Eric J Herboso: Perhaps I am sick. Or maybe it is that I actually think hard about stuff nowadays and my brain is too weak to multitask.
Hemorex: Or too focused to cast attention randomly, shotgun fashion.
Eric J Herboso: Or maybe I'm just weird.
Hemorex: You are. But that really doesn't apply in this situation (c:
Hemorex: You know, reading your journal... all these people you talk about; they way they talk to you is the way everybody always has. I'm not sure why, but I find that creepy, how the majority of society will react in the same way to the same thought patterns. I would have thought there would be more individualism, but I suppose that is a ray of idealism trying vainly to shine through the clouds of reality ... hmm
Hemorex: in any case, I'm going to run along now. It has been most enlightening to speak with you again, and I hope to converse further, soon. Goodnight.
Eric J Herboso: Goodnight, then.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, Emp. You really did make my night. (c:

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