"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." -Socrates
A tear rolls down my cheek as I look at her. She, like so many others, is ignorant of the fact that I am watching her. But her ignorance does not stop there. She lacks so many qualities: intelligence, beauty, persistence... And yet she strikes me, for when I look at her, I feel something strange.
It is a hard thing to describe... This feeling is unlike others that I've had in the past. It is a feeling of pity, yet at the same time, it is awe. I feel almost as though I wish that I could be her, that I could live as she lives, in her shoes and not my own. I feel as though where she is preferable to where I am.
And yet she disgusts me.
She disgusts me because I see no good quality in her whatsoever. She is not just like every other common sheep out there, but is worse. She is a runt, misshapen in spirit, if not in body. When she talks, it is worse than if she were vacuous -- no, she talks as though she thinks herself intelligent when it is so very obvious that she is not.
Were I able to hate a person who did me no misdeed, she would be the one I hate.
But when I ask Garacan what he thinks of her, his reply is that she does indeed have a saving grace. His reply is that I overlooked one simple yet very telling good quality of her person.
Garacan says she is kind.
And now that I look again, seeing what I saw before, I notice that he is right. She is kind. She volunteers in many organizations, and she always lends an ear to any that needs to talk. She is courteous and giving, and her charity seems to know no bounds within her meager means.
"But," I say to Garacan, "although she may be kind as you say, she still possesses no redeeming qualities." Garacan tilts his head and raises one eyebrow slightly, confused at this response. "Kindness is a vice, not a virtue."
Garacan scowls as he retorts, quoting whom but the leader of his cause: "We must be kind, Eric, to everybody around us. We must accept and forgive -- there is so much to be forgiven in each one of us. If you learn to love everything, the humblest, the least, the meanest, then the meanest in you will be loved. Then we'll find the sense of universal equality, the great peace of brotherhood, a new world, Eric, a beautiful new world..."
I look at Garacan, and I see in his eyes that he really and truly believes in what he says, and another tear forms. Garacan does not disgust me. He saddens me. He saddens me because he does not see what I see. He does not see his own fallacy.
But I cannot leave him be without at least attempting to help him. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." His eyes show a glimmer of understanding, but they quickly fade as I continue on, quoting ~Myrth~, another diarist here at FOD. "It is our light -- not our darkness -- that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory that is within us. It is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
By the time my mini-speech is done, Garacan has already stopped listening to me. He has already closed his mind to the very concept, and remains staunch in his belief. "Eric," he says tiredly, "shouldn't you be studying for your final exams?"
"Yes, I should." I take a sip of tea as I turn to look at Garacan, removing my attention from that of the virtueless girl. "But I find it more important to sit here with you, Garacan. You are my friend and confidant, and it hurts me to let you go without hearing the truth." He turns to face me as well, and we share a brief moment of silence together. When it is over, we both finish our tea in silence and get up from our seat. It is time to study now, and if we don't get it done now, then we won't do well on the exam tomorrow.
As we walk in tandem, whistling in that grey shroud of nocturnal elegance, a shooting star flies by overhead. And somehow we both know that it is her, the virtueless girl, that has made this star pass overhead tonight. And we -- no, I -- realize something important:
It is the bourgeois institutions that God truly favors. The meek may inherit the Earth one day, but when they do, watch and see whom will rise to the top of society.
I thank God that I am an atheist, for if I were not, then I would hate myself even more.
I think I'll go study now.
Ridiculous quest there. What happened after? Thanks!ReplyDelete
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article seem toReplyDelete
be running off the screen in Chrome. I'm not sure if this is
a formatting issue or something to do with web
browser compatibility but I figured I'd post to let you know.
The style and design look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Cheers
Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit andReplyDelete
sources back to your weblog? My blog site is in the very same niche
as yours and my visitors would really benefit from a lot of the information you present here.
Please let me know if this alright with you. Appreciate it!
I'd like to find out more? I'd love to find out more details.ReplyDelete
Hello, after reading this amazing piece of writingReplyDelete
i am as well delighted to share my familiarity here with
Hello, I check your blogs on a regular basis. Your story-tellingReplyDelete
style is awesome, keep up the good work!
This page certainly has all of the information and factsReplyDelete
I wanted concerning this subject and didn't know who to ask.
Hi there, for all time i used to check weblog posts here in the early hours in the breakReplyDelete
of day, since i like to gain knowledge of more and more.
I am genuinely glad to glance at this website postsReplyDelete
which carries tons of valuable data, thanks for providing these data.
I blog quite often and I genuinely appreciate your content.ReplyDelete
Your article has truly peaked my interest. I'm
going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new details about once per week.
I opted in for your RSS feed as well.
I constantly emailed this webpage post page to all my associates, because if likeReplyDelete
to read it afterward my links will too.
First of all I would like to say superb blog!ReplyDelete
I had a quick question that I'd like to ask if you do not mind.
I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your head before writing.
I have had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting
my thoughts out. I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15
minutes are generally lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints?
Very good post. I'm going through some of theseReplyDelete
issues as well..
Saved as a favorite, I love your blog!ReplyDelete
Hmm it seems like your blog ate my first comment (it wasReplyDelete
extremely long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I submitted and say,
I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too
am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole
thing. Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers?
I'd certainly appreciate it.
Aw, this was an extremely good post. Spending someReplyDelete
time and actual effort to make a really good article… but what can I say…
I put things off a lot and don't manage to get nearly anything done.
This design is wicked! You most certainly know how to keep a reader amused.ReplyDelete
Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved
to start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Excellent job.
I really loved what you had to say, and more than that,
how you presented it. Too cool!
Fantastic goods from you, man. I have understand yourReplyDelete
stuff previous to and you are just extremely fantastic.
I actually like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you're saying and the way in which
you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to
keep it smart. I can't wait to read much more from you. This is actually a great
I think this is among the most important info for me.ReplyDelete
And i'm glad reading your article. But should remark on few
general things, The web site style is great,
the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers
Admiring the commitment you put into your blog and in depthReplyDelete
information you provide. It's awesome to come across a blog every
once in a while that isn't the same outdated rehashed material.
Wonderful read! I've bookmarked your site and I'm
adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.
First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question in which I'd likeReplyDelete
to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
I have had difficulty clearing my mind in getting my ideas out.
I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to
be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints?