09 December, 2002

Am I Becoming Normal?

Wow... What a productive day I've had thus far... 

I took my literature class exam at nine am this morning, and I have my calculus exam this afternoon at two pm. But this is of no real importance compared to what else happened today. 

You see, as of today, I have a legal tag on my car, and I'm insured for liability. 

You may not find this to be that big a deal, but to me, it is a huge step towards the real world. 

You see, prior to now, I've been using a dealer tag on Machiavelli, and I've been driving without insurance of any kind. In fact, I didn't really own the car. 

But now, I'm legal. Now, if a cop stops me, I don't have to bullshit my way out of it; instead I can just produce the legal valid documents that he requires and everything will be okay. 

It's a really weird feeling. 

I feel like I almost want to get stopped now, just to prove that I will get no ticket from it. I feel... strong. 

And yet, this just takes me one more step towards normalcy. 

I wonder, is it right for me to feel proud that I am finally acceding to the laws held by most of the common folk? Is it righteous for me to feel good about becoming more like everyone else? Or am I mad, in a sane sort of way? Have I become what I hated most, or is this what I really desired all along? 

I am torn. 

And yet, this is only the half of it. You see, as of today, I am immunized against those diseases which I never would have gotten anyway. Weird, ain't it? Me, of all people, getting immunized. Who'd've thunk it? 

'Tis a steady acquiesence of what I never wanted, and yet it makes me feel better all the same. If everyone else is okay with it, then why shouldn't I be? ... Oh, God, did I just type that? Ugh. 

I feel disjointed today. More so than usual, anyway. Nothing of what I'm writing likely makes any sense, and at the moment, I truly don't care. I don't want to proofread today. I don't want to bother. I don't even want to hit the "save" button. But I will. Of course I will. How can't I? 


I am tired. I think I will go eat now. 

That and I'll study too. 


Yeah, right.

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