Presidential Candidate Huckabee, at a rally in Alabama today, announced that if he gets elected President, he would appoint Chuck Norris as both Secretary of Defense and Head of the Department of Homeland Security. I am NOT kidding. I predict Huckabee will now win Alabama's vote.
Update: Here's a link. The link only mentions the sec of def part; but he said in his speech that he'd appoint him to both simultaneously. As soon as I get a news source to verify, I'll post another link.
Correction: Apparently I misheard on cspan. Chuck Norris is just going to be secretary of defense. He's appointing Nature Boy Rick Flair as Head of the Department of Homeland Security. This is still fucking unbelievable, though.