10 December, 1998

If only he understood...

[As copied from the journal of one of my early girlfriends.]

If only he understood. How easy it is for him to hide it. Simply an avoidance of the topic. Myself...faced continuously with looks of conemnation or pit. He walks down the street and no one knows. Not one soul would ever suspect. His calm assurance and youthful appearance conceal his situation effectively. If I myself attempt this feat, I am met with the gazes of all who pass. Their eyes reveal their thoughts to me. Temptress, slut, impureness throughout. How presumptuous are the masses, how erroneous. Then there are those who "sympathize": poor thing, niave [sic] one. Neither do they understand. If we walk together, hand in hand, he is praised for his responsibility. After all, he was probably used, framed, perhaps just unlucky. I am accused of ruining his future. If only he could understand... I can bear no more shame.

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